The following is an excerpt from my new book currently being written entitled,
“The Memoirs of Victoria Rose.”
I always cherished the vows made on my wedding day, ‘Till death do us part’ and all that is sacred. I never dreamed that I would one day want to stray outside my marriage. Never, Ever, in a billion years would I cross that line.
But I found my mind wondering. I was longing for the touch of another man. I love my husband dearly. He is my best friend. But he has been sick for a long time. Before that he had already started battling ED. We tried to work around it with medications that didn’t work, pumps that didn’t work, and toys that may work but aren’t the real thing. He became more and more frustrated with the ED that he finally quit trying to connect in that way. Our intimacy was gone. The door to any exploration was locked. And I was left void. Longing for touch, intimacy, closeness, and let’s be honest, just plain sex, I found my mind wondering.
When I found out I was the object of affection of another man, one I had known for a few years. One that I secretly was attracted to, I began to wonder what it would be like to have an affair. A passionate, exciting, very wrong, bad idea, Affair.
My husband had been increasingly verbally abusing during spells of increased pain and illness. After one such episode of verbal Tirade, I decided I was going to do it. I was going to tell this admirer of my mutual feelings. So I did. And so it began. The first meeting was while my husband was in the hospital. I went home for the evening and made plans to spend the next day in the hotel that husband and I had rented for ourselves for a mini getaway. Husband thought I could use a day to myself, if resting and aloneness. I though this was a grand idea. Except, I though my day of resting needed someone to rest with.
I called my admirer and told him of my mutual feeling. Turns out we both had a “love at first sight” experience. The attraction is a strong one and I wonder if this box it a good one to open. But alas, lust and sexual appetite dictate, and plans are made for him to join me in my hotel.
I talk to hubby that afternoon to let him know I have arrived at our destination safely. I was going to go to the cafe’, grab a bite to eat then go take a long nap. After we said our I love yous and goodbyes, I headed to meet my admirer and bring him back to our love suit.
You know, sometimes we anticipate something so much, it is an epic fail. Well, this wasn’t. Sure, he respected hubby enough to not “go all the way.” But we kissed and held each other tight. Completely naked, exposed,lying there cuddled under the covers. Completely content, peaceful, and immersed in each other. Every breath, every heartbeat, together.
I have only felt this type of peace before in the arms of my husband. My mind is confused. I am totally at peace with lying here loving another man. It is against everything ever learned, everything I ever believed. But this has opened a door. A new life has begun to fuel me. The fire in me begins to burn. I have to explore this new energy I am feeling! I have to know what is out there and what I have missed with this close minded straight lined life. What will this bring about in my life? How will it change me? Will my marriage survive? Only time will tell.
*Excerpts from the pages of my new book still being written, “ The Memoirs of Victoria Rose.”
“The Memoirs of Victoria Rose.”
I always cherished the vows made on my wedding day, ‘Till death do us part’ and all that is sacred. I never dreamed that I would one day want to stray outside my marriage. Never, Ever, in a billion years would I cross that line.
But I found my mind wondering. I was longing for the touch of another man. I love my husband dearly. He is my best friend. But he has been sick for a long time. Before that he had already started battling ED. We tried to work around it with medications that didn’t work, pumps that didn’t work, and toys that may work but aren’t the real thing. He became more and more frustrated with the ED that he finally quit trying to connect in that way. Our intimacy was gone. The door to any exploration was locked. And I was left void. Longing for touch, intimacy, closeness, and let’s be honest, just plain sex, I found my mind wondering.
When I found out I was the object of affection of another man, one I had known for a few years. One that I secretly was attracted to, I began to wonder what it would be like to have an affair. A passionate, exciting, very wrong, bad idea, Affair.
My husband had been increasingly verbally abusing during spells of increased pain and illness. After one such episode of verbal Tirade, I decided I was going to do it. I was going to tell this admirer of my mutual feelings. So I did. And so it began. The first meeting was while my husband was in the hospital. I went home for the evening and made plans to spend the next day in the hotel that husband and I had rented for ourselves for a mini getaway. Husband thought I could use a day to myself, if resting and aloneness. I though this was a grand idea. Except, I though my day of resting needed someone to rest with.
I called my admirer and told him of my mutual feeling. Turns out we both had a “love at first sight” experience. The attraction is a strong one and I wonder if this box it a good one to open. But alas, lust and sexual appetite dictate, and plans are made for him to join me in my hotel.
I talk to hubby that afternoon to let him know I have arrived at our destination safely. I was going to go to the cafe’, grab a bite to eat then go take a long nap. After we said our I love yous and goodbyes, I headed to meet my admirer and bring him back to our love suit.
You know, sometimes we anticipate something so much, it is an epic fail. Well, this wasn’t. Sure, he respected hubby enough to not “go all the way.” But we kissed and held each other tight. Completely naked, exposed,lying there cuddled under the covers. Completely content, peaceful, and immersed in each other. Every breath, every heartbeat, together.
I have only felt this type of peace before in the arms of my husband. My mind is confused. I am totally at peace with lying here loving another man. It is against everything ever learned, everything I ever believed. But this has opened a door. A new life has begun to fuel me. The fire in me begins to burn. I have to explore this new energy I am feeling! I have to know what is out there and what I have missed with this close minded straight lined life. What will this bring about in my life? How will it change me? Will my marriage survive? Only time will tell.
*Excerpts from the pages of my new book still being written, “ The Memoirs of Victoria Rose.”
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