Time gets away from you!

It has been almost 7 years since I wrote the 4th of July post.  It was such a rough time in our life’s. I even forgot to hit the publish button.  Or maybe I didn’t.  Maybe at that time in my life I was afraid to speak out on how mental health issues effected our lives.; And how medical issues effect our mental health.  Maybe, I just got too busy being a family.  Whatever it was, we had been through a lot of ups and downs.

I ended the last blog with a note about counseling.  I cannot stress enough to find a counselor.  For your self, for both of you as a couple, for your family.  Find what you need and do it.  I don’t think we would have made it this far if it wasn’t for a few amazing people to talk us down and give us perspective.  See, I have PTSD as well. It may not be from military but that fight or flight response still as strong as it was 30-40 yrs ago.  Triggers slap me in the face when I least expect it.  I have gone many years without a trigger then, BAM! Like it just happened, in your face, reality!  PTSD can change your thinking and reality become altered.  Sometimes it takes someone on the outside to show you the way again.

Our family has grown.  We’ve added a couple of Daughter in law’s and a daughter in law and son in law to be.  A grandbaby on the way as well.  I couldn’t be prouder.

Our struggles, still there and in some ways we face some of the hardest battles yet.  I’ll deal with more of my thought on that in the next post.

Every time we seem to start finding a way to cope,  the rug gets pulled.  

I have learned that as a caregiver, I do just that.  I give...  and give and give.  I give until I have nothing left, then I give some more.  I always have.  It’s my nature.  But what I also learned it that as I am getting older, nothing left is taking its toll on me, my heath and wellbeing, my spirit.  I had to start taking time to give to ME.  Taking time out to watch the sun rise,  meet a friend or two for coffee or brunch.  Sitting in silence and drinking a cup of coffee or hot chocolate before anyone awakes.  Taking a nap in my favorite chair for a few mins in the middle of the day while others nap.
Saying NO before I am at my limit.  Learning what my limit is.

It’s not perfect.  But it’s a start.  And that’s better than where I was before.