I'm More Than That

Written July 2010: 4th of July Celebration and struggles The 4th of July. A day to celebrate freedom. The freedom my husband and every solder throughout history has fought for. Only we dont get to celebrate for long this year. You see, with PTSD, triggers are everywhere. One of the triggers for my husband's PTSD is explosions. This year, we thought he would be ok to go to a family BBQ with a small fireworks display afterwards. Not thinking much more about it, we went on with our week after the 4th. Boy were things rough! The fighting, anger, arguing escalated quickly. It took me all week asking myself what happened, what have we done different to trigger this outburst of anger. THEN it hit me! I felt so stupid! What was supposed to be a great day of family and friends (and it was) had left behind an aftermath of nightmares, anger, outbursts and fights. It is now 10 days later and things have settled back to a tollerable level. It just goes to show that with PTSD, we can NEV...

So being a wife and mother is what I have dreamed of all my life! What I never counted on was having to have an "honorary" medical degree to go with it. I am NOT complaining, only venting. It seems that our lives are scheduled so much medically, that there is no time for life. I strive to fit it in where I can. The hardest part is No one outside of our household understands this. "You don't work~! You should have plenty of time" Really? Do you want to see my schedule? For real? Right? See I am the wife of a retired soldier who has PTSD, heart issues and Diabetes among other health issues. Most of which can be pretty much unofficially traced back to the Gulf War and Iraq. I say unofficially because if it was official, we would be receiving some sort of VA compensation. I am also the Step Mother of 2 wonderful sons who are making their way through higher education on their own and doing a great job! And I am the mother of one son who is 6. He has Cystic...